How Does Dating Violence Start?
Dating violence is a concept that is somewhat foreign to our society in which a relationship becomes overwhelmingly dangerous and psychologically comforting at the same time. Teenagers often experience several vulnerabilities while progressing through adolescence. Some of the most fragile areas associated to this developmental process is the relationships they have with their parents, peers, and members of the opposite sex.
Mutual interdependence becomes increasingly prevalent in each of these categories, while the attention from the opposite sex, as little or as belittling as it may be, fuels a teenage girl's emotionality for experiencing importance, beauty, and desire.
Some risk factors pertaining to the type of abuse that is typically found in teenage relationships includes the dominant partner having a short temper, embarrassing you in front of others, pressuring you sexually, limiting your rights within the relationship in a variety of circumstances.
The Abusive Cycle
Relationship abuse is often cyclical in that it is actually a psychological and behavioral pattern that may be summed up in a series of stages. Initially, the relationship begins in a state of excitement in which both parties are newly fulfilled and practically giddy about one another, in a way that is even psychologically vulnerable. Such vulnerability is illustrated in the emotions and level of dependence that each party has within the new relationship, as they both may find themselves rushing into a level of commitment.
This happens because the need to be desired is psychologically and emotionally comforting on many levels. It should be noted that this form of comfort is not equivalent with parental comfort or acceptance from one's peers.
Next, there is an opportunity for tension and frustration to develop in which the abuser will press the boundaries to see where their parameters are, while making sure that a sufficient amount of affection is also integrated into the abusive behavior. If this is not done appropriately, the victim of the relationship will flee and that is not what the abuser is aiming for here.
Individuals in relationships like this may claim to experience relational growing pains and just learning one another's interpersonal dynamics; however, this should be a red flag for peers and parents that the relationship is unhealthy. Any hot and cold behaviorisms should be recognized, as inconsistent patterns initiate this process of abuse. In methods to cope with feeling like there is no escaping an abusive relationship, the victim of this situation may withdrawal from their peers because they are embarrassed and they secretly are aware that there is an issue, but fleeing the relationship is perceived to be much more detrimental than staying.
They may even find themselves overcompensating for their partner's abusive characteristics by lying to others, exaggerating about minor events to depict a fulfilling relationship, and even clinging tighter to the abuser for the need to be what they need and to further understand why they are behaving in such a manner. The last stage is violent, and described as being the shortest in duration. This stage is one of desperation in which the victim will begin to respond to any sexual, physical, or psychological abuse that they are experiencing. The victim of the relationship will begin to push back.
The victim will feel a loss that is described as rejection or grief in which psychological humiliation overwhelms them in a manner in which retaliation is therefore required. This stage is considered to be the most dangerous because this response could push the abuser to inflict greater harm and make matters much worse.
Finally, the last stage of this unfortunate cycle embodies a time of apologetic pleas, gifts, and promises of change from the abuser as they realize that they are close to losing their victim altogether if they do not ease up on the level of abuse. The victim more often than not, will trust their abuser in their cry for change; however, only a few are able to realize that this is a behavioral element that rarely changes.
Statistical Information on Abuse
Unfortunately, dating violence is not perceived to be as important as domestic violence; however, dating violence is a precursor in and of itself for domestic violence. Teens are at a much higher risk for being in abusive relationships than adults. Out of every 5 females in high school, 1 of them is reportedly being physically or sexually abused by a partner they are dating.
Such abuse is found to be inflicted on individuals that range between 16 to 19 years old in approximately 94% of the cases. Furthermore, half of the adult sex offenders report that their first sexual offense took place before they were 18 years old.
Teens that are in abusive relationships are at a much higher risk for suicide, eating disorders, substance abuse, poor academic standing, anxiety, and for having low self-esteem. Teens will more often than not, keep this abuse a secret, as a pattern of codependency is birthed and an overwhelming level of security is both damaged and yet reinforced. This takes place because the desire of feeling needed and wanted outweighs the negative aspects of being abused.
Dating violence is dangerous for many reasons and it doesn't affect individuals based on their race, level of education, or level of income. Dating violence is a noxious component that is socially and psychologically crafted, embracing abusive elements of physical, sexual, and emotional debilitation.
References:
American Bar Association. (2006).Teen Dating Violence Facts. National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Initiative. http://www.abanet.org. Retrieved from, http://www.abanet.org/unmet/teendating/facts.pdf.
T.E.A.R. (2007). Teens Experiencing Abusive Relationships. http://www.teensagainstabuse.org. Retrieved from, http://www.teensagainstabuse.org/index.php?q=quizMe.
Erica Hutton - Greetings! My name is Erica Hutton and I am a full time professor residing in Angola, IN. My areas of specialization are criminology, ...
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